The certificate
Our Guest : Clara Lamireau
Without this paper, I can’t participate to the 10 km Paris Centre Race. Neither the Porcelain Rings, in Limoges. I can’t enroll in Vanves Run Club and be part of the French Athletics Federation. So I need my doctor’s approbation. She examines me, takes my blood, my pulse: 60 beats per minute with the doctor in front of me, not bad. I would love to go to a cardiologist for a stress test, know my maximum heart rate (MHR) and my aerobic speed (MAS). So I gave him documents summarizing my family history … Damned, it seems that this is not very serious.
She ticks a box, add the words « Running in competition ». The words « in competition » are essential to pick up the bip number. She signed, added her cachet… phew, here it is !
Then I watch the document as a whole. My doctor is a general practitionner. Sports doctor, family practitioner, with a mention in pediatrics and one in Angiology. So there are 7 boxes on the paper. Then takes place in my mind 7 stages of life, many stories, memories and projections attached.
– « Is not present that day to go to the doctor. » I can’t, I pool.
– « Presents a condition requiring a work stop of … days. » Below 3 days, you’re not paid. Beyond that, hang on to your savings to offset the loss of salary.
- « Is sick. The presence of her mother / his father is essential. » Poor little boy! Mom will stay home, you’ll drink herbal tea with honey while reading comics.
- « Present at this day a lack of apparent clinical signs indicating cons for sport training » With such a formula, you are covered. If tomorrow you declare lupus, it’s because it was well hidden.
- « May not attend school, high school for … days » But bar with table-football across the way, yes you can.
– « Must be taught physical education and sports for days … » But it’s OK for the Nutella education.
– « Is free swimming for days … » I can’t, I have my periods.
Fifteen days later, I have my athletics license. I’m going to show it to get a piece of paper with numbers on it, not very practical to hang on a t-shirt. And go for a run.